Is withdrawal a good contraceptive method? Well, let’s tell a story. I missed my period and I just knew that I was pregnant. Me that my parents felt I was still a virgin, how will I tell them? I could not even tell my mum that I was having sex, since sex is practically a taboo word in my family. My world was crumbling apart and I was wondering if it wouldn’t crush me in it.
My name is Kemi. I am a 200 level student of accounting in one of the prestigious universities in Nigeria. Chima and I started dating three months ago. When he told me about his not liking condoms nor any contraceptive method because his withdrawal skills were great as it had never failed him, I was skeptical and I refused. Chima was my first guy ever, as in, I was a virgin, so I didn’t know a lot about these things, but I knew that I did not want to get pregnant or get an STD.
Anytime we had sex with a condom, Chima would complain for days. He always had nice things to say to convince me to relax and trust his pull out game. After some 7months of doing it with condoms, my fears disappeared like a twisted game of hide and seek.
I was feeling unwell for like two weeks, so I went to the health centre in my school. Thinking it might be malaria again, I went in to see one of the doctors, so I could get free malaria medicine. Instead of discussing malaria, the doctor said: “You might be pregnant Miss Kemi,”
Had I known that a pull-out game is not a contraceptive method
I told him I couldn’t be pregnant because I had been sleeping with Chima for a long time without reasons to fear and he always pulled out. So how could I be pregnant when he doesn’t cum inside of me.
Before I left the school hospital that afternoon, Doctor Ibe told me a lot of things. He explained that pre-cum (semen that is released before ejaculation) can also contains good quality sperm. He made me realise that one drop of semen contains a million sperm. I was asked if I could beat my chest to say one drop has never entered me. He said I was just lucky that we have sex sometimes when I am not fertile and not because Chima is a pro at withdrawal.
“Chima, I am pregnant”. I mustered the courage to tell my boyfriend-Chima who always swore his withdrawal skill was better than any contraceptive method I could think of. Why did I trust him and let my guard down? God, why did this have to happen?.
“How can you be pregnant?” I heard Chima say. “I have been having sex since like forever and I have never used a condom before, so what are you now saying?” laughing out loud he said: “Kemi, so you have been sleeping around abi? I am sure I am not the father of that child”.
At this point, I was crying even as I explained to him all that Doctor Ibe told me.
Pulling out or withdrawal is not a great contraceptive method. It puts too much pressure on the man to remember to pull out on time. It also does not work well because of the presence of sperm in pre-ejaculate. Another important factor is that pulling out cannot prevent infections like gonorrhoea and HIV. It’s not advisable to practise it with someone whose status and sexual history is unknown.
Don’t be like Kemi, do not be dependent on any man’s withdrawal skills to save you from pregnancy. If you are still in team withdrawal and have not gotten pregnant, you are either lucky to have sex during your safe days or one of you has fertility issues. On WHISPA, we do not recommend that you depend on luck to avoid pregnancies. Pregnancy comes with a lot of responsibility, so get a contraceptive today! There are different contraceptive methods available and most are 99% effective.